52 Things Ron Weasley Isn't Allowed to Do
by Max Russo
Summary: Basically in the title. Credits go to "The Indifferent Child of Earth" and "AngelKirstie" - Angel helped, no matter what she says. It's a funny list, so please give it a shot.


**Firstly: I love Ron Weasley in both the books and films, and am not trying to be offensive!**

**Secondly: This is based on the "dumbass" Ron Weasley from the Potter Puppet Pals Youtube Videos...kinda...lol**

**Thirdly: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does...duh!**

**Fourthly: I don't own the story idea, "The Indifferent Child of Earth" does, after their brilliant '51 things Emmett Cullen isn't allowed to do'**

**Fifthly: As much as she denies it, AngelKirstie had a LOT to do with this list XD (she wrote most of it...well, a lot of the rudest ones were mine...but quite a lot were hers)**

Ron Weasley is not allowed to:

Spread rumours that Harry Potter is gay

...or Neville Longbottom...

Tell everyone that he is starting a nudist colony

Ask Professor McGonagall if she wants to _join_ said Nudist colony

Burst into tears and run out the room when she says no...

...and refuse to return until Hermione Granger joins instead...

Hero-worship Lord Voldemort

Paste naked porn pictures of him on the Gryffindor common room walls...using a permanent sticking charm...

...or in the Ravenclaw Common Room...

...or the Hufflepuff Common Room...

...You get it...

Steal Hermione's underwear and wear it to the Yule Ball

Carve Roonil Wazlib is sexxy into the Toilet Door...in the Prefects Bathroom...

...And then deny all knowledge of it...

...And then tell the people at St. Mungo's that Hermione's hair told him to

Dye his hair black, wear glasses, carry around a stick and tell hordes of 1st years that he is the real Harry Potter

Show Hagrid his Pokémon video game...and convince him that the animals in it are real

Say "Who's ya daddy?" to Harry Potter...

...Or "Ya mom."

Make lightsaber noises when using his wand in Charms class...

Wear my "I AM A DEATH EATER AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!" T-shirt to school

Dress like Princess Peach from the Mario Games...ever again...

Shout "I got the power." every time he uses his wand

Convince 1st years that Seamus Finnigan is "after yer Lucky Charms"

Paint House Elves green and try to sell them as Leprechauns

Lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a cupboard together, and refuse to let them out until "something gay happens."

Run through the Great Hall shouting "THE DARK MARK! THE DARK MARK! HE CONJURED THE DARK MARK" whilst pointing at Harry.

Sing Hannah Montana Songs...

...or Britney Spears songs...

Sing. ANYTHING.

Call Ghostbusters, purely because Peeves is p***ing him off

Put a naked photo of Dumbledore on Facebook...

Likewise with Snape...

And Draco Malfoy...

Basically, no more naked photos on Facebook

Scream "WAAAAAAAAAAA! STOP STEALING MY BOYFRIEND!" to Ginny

Change his desktop background to Joe Jonas

Write anymore lists titled "54 Hilarious things to do in Hogsmeade"

Or "78 Things to do in the Girl's Bathroom."

He's not allowed to write ANY more lists

Tell Professor Trelawney that without her glasses she would "actually be pretty damn hot."

Tell 1st years that he is Chewbacca...

...or Edward Cullen...

Tell HERMIONE that he is Edward Cullen...and can see her thoughts...

Explain what happened between him and Lavender last night to 5 year olds in the queue for Santa...

Talk to Strangers. NEVER talk to strangers...not after what happened

Put Crookshanks in the paper shredder

No matter what the voices say, you are not a hot gay vampire...called Jasper Cullen...or any other name for that matter

Read Ginny's diary...and put "No, _Draco Malfoy_ is hot" every time she mentions the fact that Harry is hot...

Get 1st year students to make a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

Sing White and Nerdy every time he sees Harry Potter in the corridor

"_Reckon this is it?" frowned Harry, turning to Hermione, as she helped him to staple the list on Ron's bedpost._

"_Hopefully..." she sighed. She really did NOT want a repeat incident of #12. She shuddered at the memory._

"_Thinking about #12 again?" asked Harry, nodding understandingly. Hermione nodded._

_Then there was the sound of a cat screeching, and Ron screaming "Crookshanks, come back!"_

_Hermione grabbed the pen off of Harry, and added one last thing to the list._

Ron is NOT allowed to attempt to have sex with Crookshanks under ANY circumstances!


End file.
